Next Year

my life will be completely different. All of the friends i have now will be off at their respective colleges, and i will have to come to terms that there will be some i may never see or speak with again. Now i know that isn't a very positive outlook, but hey, the truth is the truth.

I'm already noticing changes this year, and not all of them are good. For one, i've made a few new friends and have gotten closer with some people who i wish i had gotten close to before. Then there's the ones who seem to be slipping farther and farther almost everyday. Well, atleast that's how it feels anyway. There's one person in particular, but i'm not one for mentioning names, that i used to be able to talk to anytime, all the time, and about anything. Now, it kind feels like they're on a ship headed to God-knows-where, while i'm stuck back at the dock being able to do nothing but wave and wish them luck.

People change, this is true, but do friends have to too? It's a little ridiculous to lose a friendship just because something is different. Sure, you may not like things a person has done, or something that person has said, but if you're truly friends, you should be able to put that all behind you...right?

One upside from all this life-crap is that i'm constantly building some truly epic lyrics for my first full song in a long time. I think my last one was written sometime in May-ish, maybe even before that. I can't write well, atleast it doesn't feel like it to me, when things are boring. I need something going on so that i have a catalyst for my writing. It doesn't work if i write about something i'm not experiencing.

This leads me to one of my biggest problems writing-wise. I will start a song, my mind in some place, and it'll be brillant, but, all of a sudden something happens that completely changes my state of mind and then i can't go back and finish, knowing that i'm no longer on the same train of thought i was when i began. Hopefully what i'm feeling now will last long enough for this song to be finished, i'm actually looking forward to it. It has to deal with losing friends due to them moving away, or just becoming distant, and even though it sucks, you have to do what you can, even if it means waving from the dock when you really want to be on board.

That's all for now,
-Russ