Ok, so i've been seriously lacking in material to write about, and I've hit major case of writer's block over the past month or so, whether it be lyrics, this blog, or otherwise. I put the pen to the paper, and the ink just doesn't want to move.
So i thought i'd update this and give you all atleast something to read until this block passes, it's some lyrics i wrote back in May. Now there's a story behind these here song-words. After my senior prom i went down the shore with a few friends for the rest of that weekend, and after a contemplative walk on the beach i realized just how scared i am of change, of people leaving and coming back different, or just not coming back at all.
And so i got home, sat down, got out my trusty lyric book&pen and jotted down this little diddy. Now for a title i just wanted something that basically told you the meaning of the song right out front, and so i did a little search on phobias. I came across Agoraphobia-the fear of leaving a familiar area and of possibly panic attacks, Athazagoraphobia- fear of being forgotten or ignored, and Metathesiophobia- the fear of changes.
Now, i feel these all explained the song pretty well but for some reason or another the words just didn't feel like fit. So i was stuck for a title until i did some thinking and remembered one word that i've known for awhile, that word was Xenophobia. So i looked it up to make sure i had the right definition, and sure enough there it was: Xenophobia- fear of that which is unknown or different from oneself. Aaaand boom, i had myself a title.
So here it is, Xenophobia, a song about a fear of college, change, and losing friends. All lyrics are subject to change, and probably will, enjoy:
Xenophobia
Verse 1
The fog rushed over me
And quickly covered the scene
Of you and me,
On this beach,
We speak of life and love
The things we are most fearful of
While the waves just crash,
Behind our backs...
Chorus
Is it all a dream?
I don't ever want to leave,
Just stay right here,
Calm my fear
Of you coming back
Wearing a different skin,
Please don't change,
Just stay this way
Verse 2
But i know it will all
Be for nothing come the fall,
You will be free
And far from me,
So i'm not a fan of change
But would it against me if i say
How much a care?
Please stay right there!
Chorus
Bridge
We all knew this day would come,
The day I'm left on the curb
To smile and wave,
And pretend it's ok,
But my insides are burning hot,
They are burning with the thought
Of waking up
To this reality...
(End)
So there it is folks, Xenophobia. It's not my cheeriest song, but it's the newest one i've written that i've actually finished, and i have a bunch i still need to finish come to think of it. I'm still working on All My Friends Are Insomniacs, and i plan on finishing it once i get this freaking writer's block out of the way.
But that's all for now, so i'll talk to all next time i got something interesting to type about.
Sincerely,
-Russ
P.S.- Hi Michelle
About Me
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Hahaha...Playing Catch-Up
So...my last post was January eh? Ok, I'll bring you all up to speed, here goes *clears throat* Since January I have:
-Gotten into College
-Went on Kairos
-Reconnected with my best friend
-Finally got that band started (From the Backseat)
-Turned 18
-Realized my feelings for a certain amazing person after knowing her for a year exactly today
-In case you didn't get the above bulletpoint, I now have a girlfriend.
-Graduated from Cardinal O'Hara Highschool
-Been unable to sleep at a normal hour since Summer started
-Become and official student at Penn State University
-Tweaked Snow Cloud a bit
-Wanted so badly to say "I told you so!" but resisted out of respect for that person's friendship
-Started this thing up again
So that is the past 5 or so months of life put into bullet points. Hooray for re-energized blogs! I am going to once again be updating this thing on a regular basis, I've really missed it. But, there will be some changes. You will notice posts becoming more personal and more closely related to actual things going on in my life as I embark on this new Quest known as "College". There may be a few nasty posts, depending on my mood. Yes, I know I said when I started this I wasn't going to use it to attack people but come on...this is a blog.
That's about it for now, expect another new post soonish, I think I might actually start labeling these things...
Till Next Time!
-(Russ)Stash Out!
P.S.- For more on From the Backseat, visit our myspace at www.myspace.com/fromthebackseat or look us up on Facebook, we can use the fans!
-Gotten into College
-Went on Kairos
-Reconnected with my best friend
-Finally got that band started (From the Backseat)
-Turned 18
-Realized my feelings for a certain amazing person after knowing her for a year exactly today
-In case you didn't get the above bulletpoint, I now have a girlfriend.
-Graduated from Cardinal O'Hara Highschool
-Been unable to sleep at a normal hour since Summer started
-Become and official student at Penn State University
-Tweaked Snow Cloud a bit
-Wanted so badly to say "I told you so!" but resisted out of respect for that person's friendship
-Started this thing up again
So that is the past 5 or so months of life put into bullet points. Hooray for re-energized blogs! I am going to once again be updating this thing on a regular basis, I've really missed it. But, there will be some changes. You will notice posts becoming more personal and more closely related to actual things going on in my life as I embark on this new Quest known as "College". There may be a few nasty posts, depending on my mood. Yes, I know I said when I started this I wasn't going to use it to attack people but come on...this is a blog.
That's about it for now, expect another new post soonish, I think I might actually start labeling these things...
Till Next Time!
-(Russ)Stash Out!
P.S.- For more on From the Backseat, visit our myspace at www.myspace.com/fromthebackseat or look us up on Facebook, we can use the fans!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Hey, Snowcloud...
Fallen from the gray sky,
You float down to the ground,
Look up at your new surroundings,
Take in what you've found,
As you look up,
Blue skies begin to emerge,
And inside you breakdown,
As you cry,
Hey Snow Cloud,
Hey Snow Cloud,
Don't let the Sunshine through,
I don't want to go just yet.
Right here in your arms,
Is where i want to be,
I hold tighter every second,
In the morning you'll leave,
But as i look out the window
The horizon begins to lighten,
The tears come to my eyes
And i think, As i cry,
Hey Snow Cloud,
Hey Snow Cloud,
Don't let the Sunshine through,
I don't want to go just yet,
Are you blind?
Can't you see?
I am happy
Where i am,
Don't take it away
Those, my friends, are the lyrics to my newly completed song "Hey Snowcloud." No, this isn't the song i mentioned in the last post but one that i just wrote today off the top of my head and was slightly influenced by Joshua Radin. I'm still kinda surprised that i wrote it without too much thought. I am still working on the other one and i'll post the finished lyrics as soon as they're done.
I might add a bridge, depends on if it goes with the flow of the song or not.
Till Next Time,
-Russ
*edit*
Yeah, no bridge, it'll just add too much on to an already good song.
You float down to the ground,
Look up at your new surroundings,
Take in what you've found,
As you look up,
Blue skies begin to emerge,
And inside you breakdown,
As you cry,
Hey Snow Cloud,
Hey Snow Cloud,
Don't let the Sunshine through,
I don't want to go just yet.
Right here in your arms,
Is where i want to be,
I hold tighter every second,
In the morning you'll leave,
But as i look out the window
The horizon begins to lighten,
The tears come to my eyes
And i think, As i cry,
Hey Snow Cloud,
Hey Snow Cloud,
Don't let the Sunshine through,
I don't want to go just yet,
Are you blind?
Can't you see?
I am happy
Where i am,
Don't take it away
Those, my friends, are the lyrics to my newly completed song "Hey Snowcloud." No, this isn't the song i mentioned in the last post but one that i just wrote today off the top of my head and was slightly influenced by Joshua Radin. I'm still kinda surprised that i wrote it without too much thought. I am still working on the other one and i'll post the finished lyrics as soon as they're done.
I might add a bridge, depends on if it goes with the flow of the song or not.
Till Next Time,
-Russ
*edit*
Yeah, no bridge, it'll just add too much on to an already good song.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The Wheel Weaves As The Wheel Wills...
Or so they say...
Anyways, the title of this post is a quote that is said quite frequently throughout the book i just finished around a week ago. Yes, that is right, i have successfully finished Eye of the World- Book 1 of the legendary Wheel of Time Series. Now, i make it sound like a big deal...but i still have 10 more books to go (not including the as of yet unfinished 12th book). Thats only 832 pages out of 9685. 305,902 words out of 3,430,682 (all according to the hardcover editions, numbers provided by Wikipedia AKA internet crack :-p). So you can see how this one little tiny accomplishment isn't exactly exciting me the way it would if it was a single standing book.
Ok, on to the review...
The Eye of the World follows the journey of Rand Al'Thor and company on their Journey to defeat "the Dark One." When monstrosities known as "Trollocs" (kind of a cross-breeding of humans and various animals gone horribly wrong) attak Rand's peaceful farming village of Emond's Field in the Two Rivers, a mysterious woman known as Morian Sedai, one of the Aes Sedai (basically magic wielding folk) and her companion, a "Warder" ( a kind of warrior) known as Lan take action and take Rand and his two friends Mat and Perrin away from the village, because it was the three boys the monsters were after.
The Story follows them as they travel northward, first towards Tar Valon, home of the Aes Sedai, and then, after hearing of a dangerous threat to the mysterious Eye of the World, a detour is taken to get there in time to stop whatever evil is after it.
Overall, it is a very enjoyable fantasy novel. That is, of course, if fantasy is your thing. The only complaint i have is right around the middle of the book, when the characters seperate into groups (not gonna spoil why or how here) the story seems to slow a bit, but only a bit, before picking right back up again. The characters are memorable, and i found myself becoming connected to the characters within only seconds of being introduced to them. They each have their own specific personalities and they never seem to stray to far from them.
Bottom Line: 4 out of 5
Why 4? Well, it's the first in the series, and if it wasn't for that, it'd get an instant 5. Robert Jordan knew what he was doing right away with this series, let's all pray A Memory of Light comes out just as great as the rest, all eyes are on you Mr. Sanderson!
All for now,
-Russ
P.S.- I currently am working on an original acoustic song. I have it all except a bridge written both musically and lyrically. I'll post the lyrics up here when finished and a video of the song on From the Backseat's Youtube as soon as i have one recorded.
Anyways, the title of this post is a quote that is said quite frequently throughout the book i just finished around a week ago. Yes, that is right, i have successfully finished Eye of the World- Book 1 of the legendary Wheel of Time Series. Now, i make it sound like a big deal...but i still have 10 more books to go (not including the as of yet unfinished 12th book). Thats only 832 pages out of 9685. 305,902 words out of 3,430,682 (all according to the hardcover editions, numbers provided by Wikipedia AKA internet crack :-p). So you can see how this one little tiny accomplishment isn't exactly exciting me the way it would if it was a single standing book.
Ok, on to the review...
The Eye of the World follows the journey of Rand Al'Thor and company on their Journey to defeat "the Dark One." When monstrosities known as "Trollocs" (kind of a cross-breeding of humans and various animals gone horribly wrong) attak Rand's peaceful farming village of Emond's Field in the Two Rivers, a mysterious woman known as Morian Sedai, one of the Aes Sedai (basically magic wielding folk) and her companion, a "Warder" ( a kind of warrior) known as Lan take action and take Rand and his two friends Mat and Perrin away from the village, because it was the three boys the monsters were after.
The Story follows them as they travel northward, first towards Tar Valon, home of the Aes Sedai, and then, after hearing of a dangerous threat to the mysterious Eye of the World, a detour is taken to get there in time to stop whatever evil is after it.
Overall, it is a very enjoyable fantasy novel. That is, of course, if fantasy is your thing. The only complaint i have is right around the middle of the book, when the characters seperate into groups (not gonna spoil why or how here) the story seems to slow a bit, but only a bit, before picking right back up again. The characters are memorable, and i found myself becoming connected to the characters within only seconds of being introduced to them. They each have their own specific personalities and they never seem to stray to far from them.
Bottom Line: 4 out of 5
Why 4? Well, it's the first in the series, and if it wasn't for that, it'd get an instant 5. Robert Jordan knew what he was doing right away with this series, let's all pray A Memory of Light comes out just as great as the rest, all eyes are on you Mr. Sanderson!
All for now,
-Russ
P.S.- I currently am working on an original acoustic song. I have it all except a bridge written both musically and lyrically. I'll post the lyrics up here when finished and a video of the song on From the Backseat's Youtube as soon as i have one recorded.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
New Year's Resolution
Everyone makes them, or atleast most do. For the past few years mine has been to focus more in school, study harder, and finally get my mom that honors bumpersticker she's been bugging me about for 3 years. Well...guess what, it still hasn't happened (big surprise right?). So this year i've decided to make a different resolution.
My last few posts have been about friendships, more specifically my own, and how they tend to weaken and drift over time. Well, i'm sick of it, and i've decided to do something about it. My New Year's Resolution for 2009 is to make sure that my friendships stay intact, and that i keep most of the friends i have now when i go away in September to whatever college will have me.
I want to get closer to the friends i never really got to know, give strength back to the friendships that have considerably weakened, and to make as many new friends as possible. I'm optimistic about this and i think i can actually pull off my resolution this year. Wish me luck!
Happy 2009 Everyone,
-Russ
My last few posts have been about friendships, more specifically my own, and how they tend to weaken and drift over time. Well, i'm sick of it, and i've decided to do something about it. My New Year's Resolution for 2009 is to make sure that my friendships stay intact, and that i keep most of the friends i have now when i go away in September to whatever college will have me.
I want to get closer to the friends i never really got to know, give strength back to the friendships that have considerably weakened, and to make as many new friends as possible. I'm optimistic about this and i think i can actually pull off my resolution this year. Wish me luck!
Happy 2009 Everyone,
-Russ
Saturday, December 20, 2008
It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year...Usually...
Hi everyone, sorry, i know it's been well over a month since my last post, but the truth is i just didn't feel like anything was worth writing about. Well, nothing i could put on here for all to see anyways.
Lately life has been a bit dull, just filled with school and such...boring, i know. But some good news, Christmas is less than a week away and i am so freaking excited i lack the words to express it! Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year, and not just because of the presents either. I've always loved the feeling, the atmosphere of the holiday. That warm, snuggly, safe feeling you have waking up and walking downstairs on Christmas morning.
I also greatly appreciate the fact that i get to reconnect with some people in my family who i don't get to see nearly as often as i would like to. On Christmas Eve i get to hang around with my 3 cousins, and we're all within 3 years of eachother at the most, the oldest being 20-21 (not 100% sure which...>.>). Now, see, i have a reputation for being the cousin that doesn't show up for these family gatherings, so the most i get to really see all of them together is Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, if that.
Maybe next year when things aren't as crazy and up in the air it'll be easier to see more of them, because to be honest i miss all three of them, one especially who i used to be so close with you'd have to freaking take a crowbar to us to pry us apart.
Hell, even continents drift, i guess it's not so surprsing that people do too.
Night All,
-Russ
Lately life has been a bit dull, just filled with school and such...boring, i know. But some good news, Christmas is less than a week away and i am so freaking excited i lack the words to express it! Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year, and not just because of the presents either. I've always loved the feeling, the atmosphere of the holiday. That warm, snuggly, safe feeling you have waking up and walking downstairs on Christmas morning.
I also greatly appreciate the fact that i get to reconnect with some people in my family who i don't get to see nearly as often as i would like to. On Christmas Eve i get to hang around with my 3 cousins, and we're all within 3 years of eachother at the most, the oldest being 20-21 (not 100% sure which...>.>). Now, see, i have a reputation for being the cousin that doesn't show up for these family gatherings, so the most i get to really see all of them together is Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, if that.
Maybe next year when things aren't as crazy and up in the air it'll be easier to see more of them, because to be honest i miss all three of them, one especially who i used to be so close with you'd have to freaking take a crowbar to us to pry us apart.
Hell, even continents drift, i guess it's not so surprsing that people do too.
Night All,
-Russ
Monday, November 10, 2008
Big Day...
November the 10th...it's sort of a big day for me...alot of big things happened to me on this day. Ok...so like two big things...but still it's sort of a big day.
Three years ago, lets just say a big first for me happened, and if it wasn't for that one thing, i'm not sure if i would be the same person i am today. I know you kinda read this, thank you for your friendship these past 3 years and for dealing with me through all my stupid moments, it honestly means the world to me.
One year ago, lets just say i was finally "set free" for lack of better words. A year and a half is a long time, and things can really boil over such a time. I'm not sure you still read this after our last little thing, but sorry for any jerky things i might have done before, fighting is stupid. And if you really do still read this, i honestly hope you're happy where you are and wish you the best of luck in the future.
Well, i hope that will do for now, so for this November 10th,
-Russ
Three years ago, lets just say a big first for me happened, and if it wasn't for that one thing, i'm not sure if i would be the same person i am today. I know you kinda read this, thank you for your friendship these past 3 years and for dealing with me through all my stupid moments, it honestly means the world to me.
One year ago, lets just say i was finally "set free" for lack of better words. A year and a half is a long time, and things can really boil over such a time. I'm not sure you still read this after our last little thing, but sorry for any jerky things i might have done before, fighting is stupid. And if you really do still read this, i honestly hope you're happy where you are and wish you the best of luck in the future.
Well, i hope that will do for now, so for this November 10th,
-Russ
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